Do You (Still) Like Your Spouse?

Before I loved my wife, Daniela, I liked her.

I enjoyed talking with her and getting to know her. We shared common interests, had similar convictions, and deep, lively conversations seemed to come naturally. (She was also from the same town where my Dad grew up, that helped with the connection. He was proud.) We were able to laugh and cry together. I saw myself building a life together with her and dreamed of things I wanted to do.

Not much has changed.

Except now we have bills.
And two boys that need to be raised.
And a master closet that needs to be remodeled.

What keeps us together is stronger than just liking each other (God's love and grace has everything to do with it) but we wouldn't be where we are today without having first liked each other (God's love and grace had everything to do with that as well). Although He has strengthened our relationship far beyond casual talk and dreams, we had small beginnings. Small but meaningful. 
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For the couple out there who feels they've gotten out of touch with each other, you might need to get back to the liking phase. If you feel stuck, there's no point dwelling on what got you here. Talk about it. Pray about it. Tackle the problem(s), not the person. But don't dwell. Move on. Commit to change (i.e., repentance).

Here are some simple suggestions you can start this week:

• Look through some old photos and simply reminisce
• Retell/revisit the details of your 'love story'
• Go for a walk and talk
• Read through the Psalms
• Hug every time you see each other for the first (and/or last) time each day
• Make a list of 5-10 things you are thankful for (about each other)
• Pray together, daily

Keep the Fire Burning,
​Danny