For Couples: A Simple Tip For Deeper Communication

Whether you recently got married or you've been married for several years, intimacy is important.

The men reading this probably thought immediately of sex. Yes, that's important, but keep in mind, it's a byproduct of spiritual and emotional intimacy, just as I wrote about HERE. I'm talking about intimacy in communication. Sharing, dreaming, exploring, challenging, learning, listening, explaining, and so much more. The problem is, it doesn't just happen. You have to work at it.

Here's a simple tip: Don't start with verbal communication. Start with written communication.

For the last few years, Daniela and I have been using a journal that we write in and then give back to each other. I even drew pictures in it to make it more creative and entertaining. Make it your own. I haven't wrote in it as much as I would have liked but it's getting better. The key is to keep it somewhat consistent and the purpose is to allow the written communication to spark/lead to verbal communication. Sometimes the entries are long and deep, other times they're short and simple.

So, if you have a spouse who is not very talkative and finds it hard to keep a discussion, grab a journal. Or, even if both of you have no problems with verbal communication, this is still a great way to keep the fire burning! Start small, maybe a simple love note or a thoughtful 'thank you.'

The back and forth creates a sense of excitement and the both of you start to look forward to the next entry. When you're done writing, place the journal in a spot where you know your spouse will see it, like on the table by their side of the bed or on an office chair. Again, make it your own!