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[Excerpt from Daily Altar: 7 Disciplines of a Power Couple]
"...we should not make a career, so to speak, out of misapplying Galatians 6:2. Making it known to God is often sufficient. There are some, and for this context we’ll focus on married couples, who have a habit of sharing absolutely everything about their lives. The good, the bad, and the very ugly. Be wise. Some couples misuse this command to bear one another’s burdens to avoid their own responsibilities. Habitually coming to the church family with requests and expectations for help or intervention is not a sign of maturity. You may be quick to share publicly that your husband has a bad temper and got into a verbal altercation with a cop when he was stopped for speeding, but did you tell God about it? If we err too far on the side of silence, we tend to become self-reliant (so we think), creating a distance between us and our brothers and sisters. But if we spill out complaints from an attitude of self-pity or self-righteousness, in the case of a spouse who shames their partner in public, we fail to mature and become dependent on others to solve all our problems."  King Solomon and his Shulamite wife had a relationship that many married couples would probably like to have (if you haven't read Song of Solomon, go read it). What was at the heart of their relationship? The Shulamite revealed one of the key characteristics. Speaking of her husband, she declared, "This is my beloved, and this is my friend" (Song 5:16). Friendship was clearly at the foundation of their marital relationship and probably had to do a lot with their romance and intimacy.
Whether you've been married for 30 years or 30 weeks, this is an important question to consider: Why do some married couples stop being friends? I've made an inventory from my own experience and from observing couples around us. Here's a short list: 1) He/She/Both stopped meeting with God regularly 2) Something or someone else got them more excited and 'stole' their attention 3) They stopped doing things together 4) The husband settled for the low bar of simply being a provider (such a misused and misinterpreted term) 5) The wife settled for the low bar of simply being, well, a wife (she is so much more, not to get cliche or anything but read Proverbs 31) 6) Children became more important (sometimes even used as an excuse not to spend time together; a huge No-No!) 7) They stopped surprising each other (Remember how you'd do things for each other? Unplanned, spontaneous things...) 8) They stopped praying together 9) They wanted some 'space' (whatever that means); They started living independently, like a single person 10) They talked and listened to each other less and less (with their eyes, ears, and heart) How can a husband and wife be friends again?  A Godly marriage doesn't just happen. It needs to be intentional and both the husband and wife need to be committed to growing together. Use this simple tool as a way to identify the root of some of the 'problems' you are currently experiencing or the ones that seem to appear in cycles. Take the Tension Test. Do it for the good of your marriage!  |
ABOUTShort, Biblical lessons and free resources on all things love & marriage. A pocket-guide for married couples and for single adults who want Gods best for their life. ARCHIVES
June 2024
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