 [This is an excerpt and shortened version from the study series called 'Marriage: The Myth & The Meaning', shared with the young adults of our church earlier this year (2021)]
How it sounds: “There is one perfect person out there for me.” Compatibility is not something you find, discover, test for, or stumble into. Compatibility is something you create over a lifetime of marriage. The biblical term for compatibility is “oneness.” Genesis 2:24 says, “they become one flesh.” You don’t find compatibility, you become compatible (Focus on the Family). The idea that God designed a specific spouse for each person as a soulmate or perfect fit and apart from them you can never be happy is not Biblical. God does not have “the one” as your perfect spouse created from the beginning of time. I didn't marry Daniela because she was my soulmate I married her because I love her and knew it was God's will for me to marry her. I had peace. Peace from God, not from a movie, novel or catchy love song. So much to unpack here but the order is vital. If you seek a soulmate you may end up with only that, a person who you label or think of as a soulmate, and around whom you can talk about your favorite shows, Insta-influencers, political videos, and even conspiracy theories (deep stuff). You might even get warm, fuzzy feelings, a fast heartbeat and sweaty palms...but they may have nothing to do with God. But if you seek God - sincerely, wholeheartedly - He will bless you with wisdom in choosing a spouse. A spouse who also loves God and seeks His kingdom and righteousness above all other things, including above marriage!  If you think dating websites and social media apps are destroying relationships today, you would have steered clear of cars in the 1900s (pun intended). Cars didn’t just speed up a historical shift from teenage codependence to independence, they fed the growth of an entire sub-culture.
Think about it: Buses began to drive students further from their homes. One-room schoolhouses eventually gave way to large buildings (schools) filled with unsettled crowds of adolescents and their hormones.* According to historians and spiritual leaders, this is pretty much what started the moral decay of young men and women of teen age years and what eventually led to, or influenced in some way, the sexual revolution of the 1960's in the USA. Things have come a long way since then. They are way worse. There is a new line being crossed When talking with a younger couple, not yet married, it does not take long to get a sense of whether or not they have passed the line. (I know, some of you are thinking, Did he just go there?) { Adapted from A Leaders Heart Devotional, J.Maxwell } Through the vow of the Nazirite (see Numbers 6), God provided a way for both men and women to specially consecrate themselves to the Lord for a special time and purpose. Leaders such as Samson made this vow, committing to abstain from wine and strong drink, to leave their hair uncut, and to avoid contact with corpses. They gave up certain rights or options in order to live at a higher standard. They did so not to stand in judgment of others, but to discipline themselves against the temptations of the day. How can today's (young) men and women apply the principle behind the Nazarite vow?  Hollywood has got to go.
The Word of God contains examples of life's greatest love stories, faith, forgiveness and hope. We can't run to secular sources to teach us how to live a sanctified life. We'll never discover the riches of His Word and the powerful guidance it provides if we don't search it out! From stories of disobedience, sin, quarrels, to repentance and restoration, the Bible is a light for our path. Whether you've been married 30 years and think you have it together or you're getting ready to say 'I do', come to the altar of marriage with us. It's the place where we make the decision to seek His ways for all our days - for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health... In this series, we’ll be uncovering the examples of (at least) 10 marriages in the Bible. We'll observe lessons of love and commitment that stand the test of time. Join us and learn what you can do to keep God at the center of your marriage...and to keep the fire burning! So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them. - Genesis 1:27-28 |
ABOUTShort, Biblical lessons and free resources on all things love & marriage. A pocket-guide for married couples and for single adults who want Gods best for their life. ARCHIVES
June 2024
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