Never settle for the cheapest option.

If you want a nice house, you have to pay for it. If you want a strong marriage, you have to pay for it.
If you want to eat healthy, you have to pay for it. The cheapest option will cost you more in the long run.

We've heard it said, Nothing good comes without sacrifice. Well, the greatest Good was Jesus giving His life for us on the cross. He is our example of real sacrifice and what it means to not only count the cost, but to pay it. He wasn't stingy. He gave His all (see John 13:1).

When it comes to meeting with God as a family, I've re-learned that I can go cheap or I can sacrifice and pay the price. Paying the price means denouncing anything that my flesh wants. Going cheap means giving in to the flesh and putting God at the bottom of my to-do list. Whether I go with the first or the latter, I will have to live with the return of my investment. Why not make it count.

Just from reading the title of this post, you probably think I'm referring to sexual intimacy. I partially am. But that's not the only kind of intimacy in marriage.

​Intimacy of any kind in marriage - spiritual, physical, emotional, etc. - requires me to take some prequalifying steps.

If I flunked Calculus 1, there's no way I'm moving up to Calculus II.

Sure, there are times when it can be 'spontaneous' and very much unplanned but for the most part, in a healthy marriage, intimacy often looks like a lively, consistent pursuit. A back and forth of sorts. Two minds, hearts, even bodies, giving their best to unite, share and enjoy deep experiences (read the Song of Solomon for some non-Hollywood exchanges of real love and romance.)

As it relates to a healthy prayer life, the Word of God says two things need to happen: I need to live with my wife in an understanding way and show her honor.

If you don't know what these two things look like, ask your wife. Seriously, there’s no one better to ask (I folded a piece of paper up and made two columns for Daniela to fill out. That’s just a suggestion). The couples around you are a good source, books can help, podcasts offer support, even pastors can provide direction. But only your wife lives with you 24/7. She would know best. Knowing these two things, how to understand her and honor her, and acting on them is the prereq to answered prayer. God says so.

​Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not b hindered. - 1 Peter 3:7

Keep showing your children how to meet with God, even if you think they don't get it.

As priest* of the household, I tend to get frustrated anytime my boys are not quiet or paying attention as we try to sing, read, or pray together as a family.

​You'd think I learned the lesson after the tenth time. But no. I still raise my voice and get a bit flustered. 

I keep reminding myself that even if this evenings altar time doesn't go as planned, it can still have a long-lasting impact. 

Jesus had to cope with disciples who at times were confused, jealous, angry, scared, filled with pride and hasty. But He kept going. He kept teaching. He kept leading by example.

We know that they eventually got it. And by God's grace, so will your children.

( *Priest tends to be an overused term. Stay posted for more on what it means in this context.)