Leaders Must Be Experts Of Small Talk

You can't control what people say. Or, can you?

There are at least 3 kinds of ‘talkers’ at work:

• Those who have something to say that others can actually use or benefit from (these employees enjoy genuine discussion and build relationships),
• those who consistently vent or complain but have no intention of making personal changes to improve themselves or the company (you know who they are, no need to expand),
• those who want to pass the time because they can’t stay focused on their work (these are the ‘nice’ ones that you can’t really say anything negative about, but you just know they should not be wandering around so much or constantly chatting).

If you’re a leader, you need to know how to control a conversation so that it doesn’t turn into a long, pointless exchange.

It’s an art.

It can’t really be learned but here are some steps you can take that will help guide most discussions:

1) Have the end in mind. Be the tour guide. See the finish line and...get there!
2) Ask: What’s the point? Why are these words coming out of his/her mouth? Keep it focused.
3) Wear a smile on your face. Somehow, someway, it just tends to help.
4) Nod. Use body language. Show that you’re really listening.
5) Change the subject stealthily.
6) If and when required, ignore what they say altogether. This takes some practice to get it down right, so they don’t think you’re being insulting. Use with discretion.
7) Keep walking (away) resolutely, as if you need to get somewhere; kind of ties in with #6 but doesn’t require as much explanation. 
8) Ask leading questions.

Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin. - Prov. 13:3